The Whole Shebang

Wholeness. It is something I have thought quite a lot about over the last year or so of my life. Perhaps it is because I have felt so overwhelmingly and irreparably broken. The process of collecting the pieces has been long and painful. Nearing the end of it (or maybe still just the beginning), I find myself with these fragmented section that don't fit together sensibly as they once did. Marriage involves so many references indicating partial people: soul mates, a better half, two becoming one. In keeping with a Jerry McGuire paradigm, we are all in search of someone to complete us. As a wife (formerly of man and wife), I appreciated all the strengths my spouse possessed to compliment my weaknesses, and vise versa. But stripped down to an unpaired individual, and a broken one at that, where does that leave me? In search of wholeness apart from relationship (at least on the human level). When God presents the model of marriage in terms of "two shall become one," I don't think He had the same idea that we ran with. What has devolved is one whole constituted from two halves rather than two wholes. And while that makes sense mathematically, I don't believe God ever intended for us to complete each other. Many sincere commitments to that end have meet their demise. This is probably where I should mention that I don't have a neatly wrapped summary to conclude my rambling. I have pieces. And the slightest glimmer of hope for redemption. I have the vaguest inkling to resist becoming defined by any one role or characteristic or desire. I'm struggling to trust and believe that God has a plan and a path for me that leads to wholeness. A solitary, singular, beautiful competed work.